At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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