My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
