I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
