why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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