Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
