Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
