How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
smell my finger.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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