I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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