pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
