The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
