somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
