I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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