do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
