Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize