WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
