When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
