im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
