The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
