Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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