Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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