Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
