He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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