so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
