There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
