I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
