ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i think my cat just said my name.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
