I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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