Sry I called you an 8
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
