that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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