The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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