i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
