He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
