i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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