she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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