Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
