How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
