What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
