ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
