But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
