this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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