I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh god it's open bar.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
