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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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