yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
