he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
