Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
