i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
