Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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