hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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