We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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