Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are we still banned from the library?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
